Measuring The Cost

 Which comes first, work or family? What matters to you?  Well that all depends on your lifestyle.  Are you single?  Are you married? Do you have kids?  What is getting in the way of relationships that matter most to you?  Is your screen time slowly building walls between you and the ones you love??

These are my top priorities and in this specific order:

1. God

2. My Husband

3. Family

4. Me

5. Work

I feel like my highest priority should be focused on God.  As Ezra Taft Benson says, "When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives.  Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities.  We should put God ahead of everyone else in our lives." 

I've been married for almost a year and my husband and I know we want children.  Right now doesn't seem like the most opportune time.  While we wait we are trying to prepare spiritually, physically, and mentally.  Newlywed life can be rough!  Trying to budget and save our money is a priority, but it's absolutely no fun!  I don't like to think, "Hey future kids, when we can afford you, then you can come!" My fear is if we try to have all our ducks in a row, have a home, have our education finished, have a good income established; we may NEVER feel the time is right to have kids.  Right now he works about 50 hours a week and I work 40.  We hardly see each other. So how do you balance your personal and work life? And make more time for your significant other?  These are a few things that might just help:

1. Take advantage of small moments together: Be present.  Stop getting distracted by technology and pay attention to your partner.  Do not neglect them.  It's your way of saying, "Work matters and sometimes it's critical, but you matter more."  It's important to keep going on dates with your spouse.  Try to date once a week.  It doesn't need to cost a lot of money.  Getting an ice cream and sitting in the shade of a tree sounds delicious to me!  When was the last time you went on a date with your spouse? With no distractions (AKA your cell phone)?

2.  Fill your mind with truth: Focus your mind on God by reading His words through The Book of Mormon, General Conference Talks, and listening to podcasts.  Do it together and also make time for your personal study.  Sit down with your partner and discuss the spiritual things you learned.  You may miss a couple of days, but just jump back in and keep learning and growing together.  Throughout the day or week, you'll feel at peace and be able to resist temptation of worldly things.  As a matter of fact, President Nelson states, "If you will feast on the words of Christ found throughout the Book of Mormon, I promise that you will have greater power to resist temptation, increased ability to receive revelation, and greater capacity to deal with the challenges of life."

3. Serve Your Partner:  If you base your marriage on selfishness, it will most likely fail.  If you focus more on yourself rather than your partner, you need to change that mindset now!  When was the last time you thought of your partner's needs and feelings?  How do you show your love? There are many ways to say I love you, and service is one of them. It's the key to a good marriage!  When you sincerely serve each other, there will be no regrets as you realize a deeper love for your spouse.

4. Maintain a Budget: Sit down together and discuss finances. Make a list of your wants and needs.  If there is money left over after taking care of your needs, prioritize your wants and see what is important to you both.  Make sure you communicate to avoid resentment or feelings later.  Stay on top of your tithing and soon you'll start seeing miracles.  Avoid comparing your friends toys and your own lack of toys.  You have to remember that everyone's path is different.  Focus on the things you've accomplished instead of what you haven't done.  Try and find gratitude in where you're at in life.  

So with that said, where are your priorities at?